What to Believe: Chapter Thirteen
I just finished reading a terrific memoir, A Man of Two Faces, by Viet Thanh Nguyen, who won the 2016 Pulitzer Prize in fiction for his novel, The Sympathizer. Nguyen’s memoir is partly a tribute to his parents, who emigrated to the United States from Vietnam in 1975, when Nguyen was four. It’s also a sharp and unflinching look at racism, refugees, immigration and othering in the US, but Nguyen’s barbs go down easy because he delivers them with dark-humored cynicism that you’d expect from someone who grew up admiring and learning from the novels of Philip Roth.
There’s also a great deal of sensitivity in Nguyen’s prose. Here’s a passage from about halfway through that really stuck with me: “So many things must frighten your parents, perhaps even haunt them, but Ba Má never seem intimidated. Only now do you understand that this is how they love you, by protecting you, by never letting you see them afraid.”
I’ve always believed that my mother kept the truth about my father’s death a secret because she was trying to protect me, Amy, and herself, along with Dad’s reputation. I love the gentle, forgiving way in which Nguyen expresses his feelings about his parents’ motivations. I highly recommend his book—but first, read my chapter, please and thank you, and spread the word if you see fit.
Chapter Thirteen
The temple board gave us until October to move from the house. I didn’t want to leave at all, but Mom said we had to. Even though the board had given her the option to buy, she was determined to get out.
“There are too many memories here” was the explanation she gave when I asked why we couldn’t stay.
Too many memories? A lot of memories, certainly, but how could you have too many? All any of us had were memories and I, for one, did not have nearly enough. But Mom had made up her mind. Persistence, which she encouraged in pretty much every other aspect of our lives, was ill-advised in this particular context. At the very least, it would introduce more tension into an already tense household. At the worst, it would escalate to yelling, screaming, pinching, grabbing, or a slap across the mouth.
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